you and me(:

Sunday, November 30, 2008

hey was planning on blogging abt coals but no mood lah.. anyways i do want to say stuff so yeah i think my reflections fits what i want to say..

“A true leader is not the one with the most followers but one who creates the most leaders.”

That was the kind of leader I aimed to be when I joined Cedar’s leadership body, nearly two years ago. I have 3 leadership positions yet each one is different and maximizes my potential in a different way. Joining the OAL board early this year was something I truly wanted after accomplishing COALs camp. Planning OAC was more of a familiarisation to the OAL board but it was the recent COALs camp, which was the pinnacle of my involvement in this great board. The things I have accomplished and gained, both tangible and intangible are something very close to my heart. This experience will be one of those, which I will remember when I leave Cedar.

The journey to COALs was rough and not something very pleasant, but certainly not worth any regret. Starting with our own refreshers, those days took up a great length of my time and I was divided between it and my CCA planning. It was tough but I am glad I stuck through it. The 3-4 days of refreshers were tiring but were spent with 31 other people who were going through the same thing as me. It was these 31 people who cheered me on and made those days less painful. Playing touch rugby, crawling drains, cooking fishes and bread that never wanted to co-operate, all these were important to ensure we were ready for our campers.

BTC soon came. Rushing campers and us the moment school ended. Seemed tiring at the point but now, worthwhile. This was where we came in as leaders. Our task, groom our campers into individuals who were able to work well with others, be aware of their surrounding and having the basic morals of respect and care as well as being punctual and disciplined people. Our weapon, proposals! Well those days were even more tiring and I had to be really patient with my campers. I had to realize that they were new to this environment and required lots of guidance. The thing I enjoyed the most about BTC was teaching and playing touch rugby with my campers. They clearly enjoyed themselves and I can safely say that that was the point, which they learned the most about each other. Ms Poon was right. Playing touch rugby in a competitive environment can truly bring out the best and the ugliest in us. My campers got to see this and learned to control their ugly side. Us instructors also learned to avoid being biased through being referees. BTC was about learning and making mistakes. Not only for campers but instructors too.

We made mistakes during BTC such as not being conscious of time, not being aware of our campers’ safety and not following instructions well. But we were determined to change, and I believe we did.

COALs soon came. Before going for COALs, I was just waiting for the 3 days to be over so that I didn’t have to have anything more to do with the OAL board. But I was to be proven wrong. Those 3 days would be one of the best days in my OAL journey. Spending time away from home yet still feeling at home. Only those who went through it would understand what I mean. Belaying under the hot sun, making the long dreaded run to Labrador Park, sleeping late, bathing while others were asleep, grabbing a quick slice of bread to fill my stomach and so much more. It may seem like a bore and not fun but it will be memories I will miss.

Campfire night would be the highlight of the camp for many including myself. Last year’s campfire was really different than this year’s due to one thing. No, not for the fact that the fire was not as grand as last year’s but because of the emotions it brought both campers and instructors. After singing ‘linger’, thoughts started racing through my mind. Did I really want to leave the OAL board? Are the friendships I have forged worth leaving the board? Perhaps I could make things work out after all without leaving. I realized I was having second thoughts. And to think that I was already 100% sure of my decision during BTC. After talking to my campers, more tears started rolling down my cheek. I was going to miss these 10 people who were a part of my OAL journey.

Without much realization and my quiet efforts to slow down time, we broke camp back in school with a final ‘Cedar Solid’. I was a Cedarian. We are all Cedarians despite our differences. And now we had another similarity. All 130 of us there, had been through COALs camp. After taking pictures and saying goodbyes to our campers, it was time to pack our logistics. Usually I dreaded packing the OAL store but not this time. While packing, I realised that my OAL journey had to end here. I was done. Despite the great times I had, I knew this for my best. My last store check was the probably the best. Laughing along with my fellow instructors and just enjoying the last few hours I had. Sounds tragic, but that’s how I felt. When my mother came, hugging those who were still around almost made me cry but I had made up my mind that I would leave with a smile. After all a friend once told me, ‘Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened’.

I owe my wonderful journey to a few groups of people. Most importantly, my instructors. All 32 of us. We were a small batch. We made mistakes, lots of them. But it’s through these mistakes, which we learned. COALs really brought us together. I can now talk to anyone of them without hesitation. We have a unique friendship, one that made my OAL journey the most worthwhile and the part I am going to miss the most. I am just glad I can still see them in school. Those tears during campfire night were for them. We suffered together. Laughed together. Cried together. Even slept together!

My last department, First Aid. When I was first informed of my COALs department, I was quite sad because it seemed like a boring department with nothing much to do. But I was proven wrong. This was a great department to end my OAL journey. I learned so much more as this time, I was forced to know first aid. Treating my campers and instructors gave me a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that I was able to help them. First aid is an important skill that I will now never take for granted. I have really grown close to my department members too, Jie Shi and Yvonne Kok. Spending time in the first aid base seemed like a boring thing but instead we created our own fun.

My assigned COALs group, Echo. During BTC, I remember us instructors used to complain about our COALs group but now, its nothing but praises. In fact, most of the time we would be competing with each other on which group is the sweetest, the most enthusiastic etc. We grew to love our campers no matter how they were. It was even to the state of being defensive! All 10 of them have a special place in my heart. By the end of camp, I could safely say without feeling forced, that I was extremely proud of them! They have certainly matured through their journey in COALs. They reminded me of my time as a camper and I certainly hope they have managed to bring back something important from the camp. Seeing them cry and blog about missing each other and the memories they had shared made me really happy. I felt that yes I have succeeded. I have created leaders who are able to get through things without us instructors guiding them. They are able to adapt to their surroundings and accept each other for their unique differences.

Last of all, Ms Poon and Mr Chee. Both of them have been an important part of my OAL and most importantly COALs journey. Their guidance and advice is something I truly appreciate and will remember. Especially Ms Poon. Through COALs, I saw a different side of her. She really does care for us and wants nothing but the best for us. Despite being disappointed in us on the last day, she still smiled and encouraged us. Thank you Ms Poon, for everything especially your jokes and stories!

I believe COALs is a camp which only those willing to change will enjoy. You need to be open to criticism and willing to change for the better. After all, we are not perfect and there are times when we need someone to advise us. This does not apply solely to campers but also to us fellow instructors. COALs, the OAL board, they have been great venues for me to discover more about myself and I do not regret being a part of it at all. They have been great memories for me to look back on. I am truly grateful for being given this golden opportunity.

yup thats it. but to add on, special mention to my dear hottie partner, jie shi for going through all these with me.. im so glad we still have 4c together! and of course our red nalgene(:

next camp pinnacle. 5 days with eunice.sigh and we wont even be in the same company!

nasuha

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Meet my two friends, Amanda and Eecha.(:

Now meet the people i spent my last 3 days with.
I like us. (:

Maybe i'll updateupdate later.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

just saw yvonne's post on charlie blog. sigh what can we do abt it anyways. its over thats all.

had hiking at macritchie today. slept late so woke up at 6.30 when i was supposed to meet diana and zura at 6.45! luckily the journey wasn't long. anyways it was oklah. company strength not much but quite relaxing too. haha walked mainly with fatimah and we were talking all sorts of random stuff the whole time from physics to psle to ncc and so much more. that makcik lah! was quite sad couldn't go for the HSBC Tree Top Walk cause too long. ohwells another day! today brought back memories of part a unit camp when we came for the exact trail. sigh how time flies

my mum says that my schedule is worse than a working adult. hmms what to do.. keep promising dec would be less hectic.

shooting comp ended ytd. didn't win first but still happy. it was a true miracle huh. it was a great way to end our last time doing live range. gonna miss the feeling and thrill. not to mention the stress! shooting the falling targets at night was really nice.. not fair next yr they get to use SAR 21! poor zura!

COALs is in two days. my last outdoor adventure camp.

nasuha

Friday, November 21, 2008

i miss my charliebabies):

now that we're here

now that we've come this far,

just hold on

there is nothing to fear

for i am right beside you

for all my life i am yours.

you should know.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

ytd was dragon boating at kallang. quite fun lah. tsk that mar lah! anyhow make me get wet. never ever sit next to her! was planning on not giving my best to prevent my arms frm aching for shooting but couldn't help it! was too involved. sigh. but i miss capsize drill last yr ): anyways then went for lunch at kfc with echo, shu yi and yvonne! haha thanks yvonne(: then yvonne accompanied me to ikea! i love ikea man. esp when going with charlie. haha i remember once we were like looking at the room designs then like pretending we live in one big house. haha dream long long lah huh. anyways today was short. the two of us like kukus lah pls. went round and round and round. but i was happy with my purchases!

today was quite a short day. my only day free! first went to sch collect money then went walk walk with fatimah and diana. a while later we met trisha at bishan library. borrowed books then left.

tmr is a day im so afraid of. what if we dont get in! part a and bs did super well. really proud of them. but what abt us?? my last chance to contribute to buc.. hoping for the best..

nasuha

Monday, November 17, 2008

I have always believed that there is no harm in thinking of the past. after all it is the past that brings you to the present. but sometimes it can affect ur present. i dunno if sorry should be the right word. i definitely wished things didn't have to turn out that way but it did. cant change that. but i meant what i said that i will remember this year. for the good and the bad. soon next yr this will all be another past which would have brought me to a new phase in my life.

sigh

nasuha

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

im tired but i just feel like typing out my day still. today was one heck of a day. in a rather interesting yet irritating way. morning dragged myself to eunos at 7am to go to harbourfront to go to LAC. haha almost forgot how the campsite looked like. then we did own dept recee. which was quite fun. finished early then played games! haha before that managed to read a bit too. whats wrong with reading a malay book and being interested in it ah! haha polar bear was random but fun. lunch. then after very long went to labrador park. that was the irritating part. omg! the walk in was so loong! want to die ok. like seriously. plus me and yvonne were smart and decided to slide at the pathway which stella and ashwiyni warned us was slippery. but haha we two yeah lah. too smart for ourselves. just go and imagine for urself what happened in the end!

in there was another story. haha but us orhbiqueks(?) had fun. somewhat lah huh. me, jie shi and jia hui. oh we saw this couple taking their bridal pics there. a but random but oklah the view was nice. but her poor dress was like in the sand. anyways after that going home was the worst. me, jie shi, zura and shao min had to leave at 6. ohmy it was like the walk to hell. oklah not really but felt like it. everytime a car drove pass we were so tempted to flag it lah! but at least we were sane enough. reaching the bus stop felt like argh finally back to civilisation! sounds so extreme but go try it yourself.

tmr rockclimbing. my body aches like crazzy.

nasuha

Monday, November 10, 2008

hmm today was a short day. went to sch first for echo meeting then after eunice finished her PSL things we went to hq to give our camp pin forms. like so retarded lah go there just to give a few pieces of paper. and duh it rained. as usual. sigh. but! so lucky eh when we were just walking out then this taxi driver who had dropped someone at the camp offered to drop us outside FOC! haha it made our day(: hmm was gonna meet rcy and dhaky at pp macs but by then 3 ready then like so tired so went back home and read!

ytd was so tiring but still ever so fun! charlie made my day. really the whole day see just their face. in the morning had shooting prac at yishun safra then at 2 finish go home bathe then change and met them at simei for dinner at dhaky's house(: so damn fun! haha only we know what really happened. sigh it was one of those days when life felt so carefree..

this week is gonna be fun! wed level one sports climbing then fri cycling!

nasuha(:

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

so its finally over. first o level paper is done. sigh 12 jan here i come.. it was so so lah. i dun have the confidence i had for EYE but i just hope its cause i have high expectations of myself. its over so thats the most important thing lah huh!

now at my cousin's house. went to visit my grandma who was sick then waiting here while my mum and aunt went for arabic lessons. i think its really cool of them to be learning it and having so much passion abt it. thats why sometimes i feel quite pathetic with the whole csp thing. but i still wanna learn chinese. just spoken though so im gonna do it after o's.

level one sportsclimbing is next week! ahaha cant wait for that. plus there is cycling with ncc and rcy so yeah thats gonna be fun. hmms and yes lesson extensions are finally gonna end. yeah man! then it will nothing but packed schedules. but i guess although it makes me like as though i have no life, i dun mind cause i enjoy them so thats the most impt thing i guess.. like i cant imagine how my life will be if its so empty with nothing to rush even if its proposals! haha

ilovemybusylife!

nasuha

Saturday, November 01, 2008

intensive malay lessons driving me crazy. in 4 more days it will be over. sigh. but ytd had a very interesting malay workshop by this guy who is damn comical lah! if only he came like 2 weeks ago. ohwells. i've yet to memorise my peribahasas yet.

started lesson extensions ytd. oklah though i almost fell asleep during maths.

on wed went for camp feast with eunice. was with east district. haha better than what we expected. our last hq camp.. gd way to end it i guess. BUBBLES(: haha

today just made me realise just how unexpected death can come knocking on ur doors. at any age at any time. take it easy yeah. we are all here with you.

tmr going for first shooting prac. its been so long since i've did IMT. live range was a totally different thing! omg 100 meters will be crazy!

and i want to watch HSM3!!!

nasuha